Gray Hearts Episode Fourteen: Freeze

Gray Hearts by Raspberry | Content warnings

I don’t bother memorizing the path from the basement as I follow Winter up stairs, through corridors, and past dozens of identical doorways. I’ve learned by now that the homes are out of my control and changing according to the whims of their masters. Even the most carefully thought out escape plan would fail. 

Winter, for her part, barely glances back to check if I’m following. Holding a candle in front of her, long dark hair and blue robe billowing behind in a breeze created by her long strides, I feel like I’ve traveled into some ghost-inhabited Victorian countryside.

She stops abruptly, and I only just manage to halt before knocking into her as she spins around.

“You will treat her with the kindness she needs,” Winter says sharply.

Which is not the thing I’d have expected the woman who kidnapped Quinn to say. I bite my tongue to keep a retort back.

“She is in a delicate state,” she continues. “You will not fill her head with nonsense about being trapped or try to use force with her. Do you understand?”

“…Yes,” I say between clenched teeth.

A dozen sarcastic replies are begging to point out the hypocrisy of Winter, but I can’t give in and risk losing Quinn.

“If she is in distress, I will remove you immediately,” she says.

The look in her eyes suggests she isn’t talking about pushing me out the door. Maybe she has the window in mind. 

Winter taps the door in front of us gently, turning the handle after the third knock.

“Quinn?” Her tone softens, sounding completely different as she slips into the room.

I duck in after her, hovering near the door in case it’s another trap. The room is large, from what I can tell. There’s a plush white rug in front of a large flickering fireplace. An oversized armchair is facing it. I can see a four-poster bed near a large glass window, but any other details are hidden in shadows. 

“Quinn, there’s someone here to see you,” Winter continues, striding towards the fireplace.

I notice a slipper peeking out from the chair and rush forward. 

Quinn is curled up in a cocoon of cushions, her eyes fixed on the fire in front of her with a glossy gaze that seems miles away. Her hair falls in tangles around her face, and her skin is so pale her freckles are more pronounced than usual.

“Quinn?” My voice comes out faint, almost cracking on her name. “Is… is that you?”

She blinks. Once. Twice. Then her gaze shifts towards me.

“Iris?” she asks, her voice thick, like she’s just waking up after a long nap. 

I feel a lump catch in my throat, sending hot tears behind my eyelids. My hand hovers toward her, pausing before I can touch her arm.

“Is this really you?” I whisper. “Please tell me it’s you this time.”

Memories of finding Quinn, only to have the illusion discovered and shattered over and over again flood my vision. I can’t take it if she’s not Quinn. Not again. 

“Iris, what… what are you doing here?” Quinn asks, her brow slowly furrowing. “What… am I doing here?” Her voice falters as she looks around. 

“You’re resting.” Winter appears at Quinn’s side, hairbrush in hand. 

She gently takes a handful of Quinn’s hair and begins to gently brush the red strands, from root to tip with a soft, almost maternal smile. Quinn’s eyes flutter, and she sinks deeper in her chair.

“I came to find you, Quinn,” I say, dropping to my knees in front of the chair. “Do you remember what happened? We were in an antique store together, and then you disappeared behind a mirror.”

“A mirror?” Quinn’s voice sounds distant as her gaze returns to the fireplace. 

“Yeah, a magic mirror,” I say, and a hysterical laugh escapes me. “I know how strange that sounds, believe me. But one minute we were in Antique Alley, and the next… well, I followed you but ended up somewhere else and had to find my way to you.”

“Antique… Alley?”

“Yeah, remember that place? We were going job hunting, and—” I swallow and clear my throat. “We kinda had a fight. You weren’t ready to look for a job, and I didn’t listen to you. I’m so sorry, Quinn. I was trying to help you in my own way, which was selfish of me, and I didn’t take the time to listen to you.”

She doesn’t reply or even glance at me, but I can feel Winter’s eyes. It’s like she knows Quinn is slipping away every second. 

“Quinn, I want you to come back with me,” I say with a deep breath. “I know life has been hard for you. You… went through things you never should have had to, and I should have been there for you.”

“Life was harsh to her,” Winter says, her tone sounding like a teacher correcting a minuscule grammatical error. “It broke her down and crushed her, and you want her to go back.” The look on her face is undisguised disgust. “How selfish.”

I feel my cheeks burn, and I am on my feet before I have time to think about what I’m doing. 

“You know nothing about me,” I say, my clenched fists shaking at my sides. “You know nothing about her.” 

“More than you, apparently,” she retorts.

“Yeah, sure.” It’s my turn to sound disgusted. “You know that life was harsh to her. You know she’s depressed.” I shake my head. “You know a few things that happened to her, but you don’t know her.

“Quinn is more than her depression. She’s more than the child her parents disowned because they couldn’t understand a form of love different from their own. She’s more than the adventure she couldn’t go on and the town she felt trapped in.”

I feel movement from the corner of my eye, but I don’t break away as I glare at Winter. 

“I know Quinn. I know how strong she is, how determined she is. The Quinn I know doesn’t hide away forever. She’s brave and fearless. I mean, she planned an international trip on her own! I was too scared to leave the state, and she was embracing her sexuality and charting her own path in life!”

“So, you just expect her to recover so quickly after so much loss because, what, she’s brave?” Winter scoffs.

“No,” I say with a sigh. “I mean, yes, that’s what I assumed before. I assumed she didn’t need me, or she just needed a push. But I know better now. What she needed was a friend. Someone who doesn’t pull her from her depression, but who just meets her there and sits with her.” I give a wry smile. “I can barely run my own life; I think I’ve learned better by now that I can’t run someone else’s.”

I turn to Quinn, and I realize she’s turned her head towards me. Her eyes are still unfocused, but I can’t help but feel like she’s actually listening. 

“I’m sorry for not being there for you before,” I say, kneeling in front of her. “And I’m sorry for being so selfish and… for not trusting in you as the best friend you are to me. No matter how far apart we are, I know we’ll always be there for each other. I will support you, even if you decide to stay in this creepy castle forever. But… I hope you want to come home, Quinn. I want you to remember that you aren’t alone and that the pain and despair you’re feeling won’t last forever.” I take a deep breath. “And also, it’ll be a lot harder for us to go to Pride together if you stay here, and I kinda need your help figuring out where I can buy myself an ace flag.”

Quinn blinks once, then twice. Slowly.

A hand digs into my arm and yanks me to my feet. I feel Winter’s icy grip tighten, even as I try to pull away. 

“What are you doing? Let go!”

Winter ignores me as she drags me out. My feet try to kick out or stand up, but all I can do is flail as I’m pulled backwards and out the door. Quinn is still staring at the spot where I was kneeling, blinking slowly, as the door slams shut in my face.