Tea Party (Q&A: More Self-Care and Taking A Break)

Tea Parties | Content Warnings

Welcome to another Tea Party! Today, we’re revisiting self-care and sharing details about our upcoming break in March. Settle in with your drink of choice, and let’s get started!

How have you been taking care of yourself since our last check in?

Pineapple:

I’m trying very hard to take care of myself lmao This year has been tough on me already, but I’m trying to stay positive. I’m telling myself to take control of what I can, that I’m not powerless, and to do what needs to be done. I got sick at the end of last year and haven’t really fully recovered, so I’m taking lots of medicine and eating cough drops like candy. I think one of the biggest changes since last time is that I’m trying to be better about setting boundaries for myself and having a good routine before bed. I’m continuing to prioritize taking my medicines, I’m just adding in some other things too.

Raspberry:

I’ve been trying to get better at self-care! I have some clay and sheet masks that I use for mini at-home spa days. I’m also trying to prioritize rest, which has been helped greatly by having super cuddly kittens!

Apple:

I’ve been trying to catch myself early when it comes to burnout. Last time, I mentioned not burning out and then doing self-care but doing self-care so I don’t burn out. So that’s included making sure I’m not putting too much on my plate at once and downsizing tasks that I’ve already agreed to when I notice I’m struggling. I have an app for breathing exercises now too, and that’s been super helpful. Meditating has always been hard for me to focus on without spacing out, but breathing exercises are much more my speed and really come in handy when I’m overwhelmed. I also keep crackers, meds, and water within reach for when I need them.

Has your self-care routine changed? Give us the run-down!

Pineapple:

I think my routine has changed in the way that I actually have a routine now. Last time we talked about this, it was definitely a “when I’m feeling bad” kind of thing, but now I’m trying to be more proactive and preventative.

So I have a better nighttime routine than I possibly ever have in my life. I usually do a French language on my phone as I stretch my legs and then I’ll maybe read a book depending on how much time I have or how tired I am. Then I try to write in my planner and sometimes I’ll do some math worksheets so that I have some time off my screen before bed.

I’m also trying to make sure I shower and brush my teeth more regularly. When I get depressed or have a flare, those are easy things to skip even though I feel better if I’m clean. I’m trying to incorporate more exercise and visual art like illustrations into my weekly routine as well, but I haven’t quite got it down yet.

I always try to leave wiggle room for changes in my mood or other things that might happen, so that way I don’t feel bogged down by it.

Raspberry:

I’m trying to get back into routine. Lately that’s been having a crossword to do during work breaks, which is relaxing and a good brain exercise when I get stressed. At night, it’s a hot shower, sometimes a face mask, and a cup of hot ginger tea. I have a Chill Vibes playlist and cuddle my babies, then I moisturize my hands in gloves (dry hands have been a problem these days) and put on a bedtime story podcast to fall asleep to!

Apple:

Pineapple taught me some new stretches and got me a back brace (that’s actually comfy!!), and Raspberry got me a thermos and helped me pick out a super cute cup and rainbow straw, so those have been added to my routine! Taking better care of my back and drinking more water are always a part of my self-care routine, so I love seeing how they’ve leveled up thanks to the fam’s help, and I’m so grateful to them! I also play drinking games with my family during movies to help us get more water in, and that’s been lots of fun even though we have to pause the movies more often for bathroom breaks.

Any new tips for taking care of yourself?

Pineapple:

Recently, I had a day where I felt “why do things have to be like this? Why am I acting this way? Why am I self-victimizing when I could just do the thing I don’t want to do?” And while I think it’s totally fine to be sad and have days where you don’t want to do something, I don’t think it’s okay to try to actively make yourself more miserable. So these days, I try to think about “what can I do to be less miserable?” and that helps me get out of the spiral of catastrophizing and self-victimizing.

ALSO, I think it’s important to not fall into the trap of thinking you’re somehow not a person. Even if you’re a mother, or “the dependable one,” or whatever, you’re still a person. And that person needs nurturing as much as everyone else around you does, because even a part of you doesn’t, the person part of you does.

Raspberry:

I guess my big thing is that self-care doesn’t have to look the same for everyone! I find crosswords relaxing, which might be stressful for others. Skincare steps is more of a morning thing for me, since my brain shuts down at night so more than 3 steps in skincare is harddddd

Apple:

It can be really hard to stick to routines sometimes and really discouraging to think of that as failure. For me, it helps to remind myself that I’ll pick it back up. Didn’t reach my water goal for two days straight? I’ll pick it back up today! Forgot my planner exists? I’ll pick it back up today! Focusing on what I want to accomplish instead of on the shame of messing up has kept me from dropping my goals completely. I might adjust them after seeing where I went wrong, but I’m a lot less likely to give up.

What does self-care mean to you?

Pineapple:

At this point, I’m realizing it’s just a necessity. Like there’s really no way around it. We’ll die if we don’t take care of ourselves. Who else is going to do it for us? I’m useless to the people around me if I don’t take care of myself, too, and it must hurt them if they see me neglect myself.

If I’m part of the community, and I’m taking care of myself, then that means I’m taking care of the community. I can do my part by taking care of me. I wish more people realized this.

Raspberry:

Self-care means awareness of your body and mind and listening to it. If your body wants crosswords or zoning out or facials or just soft pjs and sleep, listen to it! It’s hard not being critical of my body, but I’m appreciating it more and more as time goes on & all the things it does to keep me healthy and safe!

Apple:

I recently learned that there are seven types of rest, not just sleeping. I think self-care is kind of like that, where sometimes it’s sleeping, but sometimes it’s grabbing a box of crayons or watercolors and being really bad at art but having fun. Sometimes it’s gaming with a friend. Sometimes it’s having all the lights off. It might not look the same all the time, but I think the most important part is listening to myself and meeting my needs, whatever they might be today.

Break Announcement

Speaking of self-care, we have another break scheduled for March! We’ll be back on April 3, 2024 with more content to share. Take care, and we’ll see you soon!