Rainy Day Episode 2

Stream of Consciousness by Pineapple | Content Warnings

Hi! Raspberry here! Usually, we have a special picnic episode the fifth Wednesday of the month, and Pineapple is creating an amazing one! Unfortunately, life sometimes doesn’t let us meet our deadlines. In the spirit of prioritizing mental health over creation, Pineapple is taking her time working on her picnic. So, in the rainy day spirit, while Pineapple weathers the storm, I’m sharing my protagonist ranking of her Stream of Consciousness characters! Obviously, my opinions are my own, and you can feel free to add your ranking in the comments! (There will be spoilers, so make sure you’re up to date on Stream of Consciousness)

Green Lorraine:

Both The Witch and the Monster deserve the world. I would die for them and also fight the whole village. I need not explain myself. Just read the story and tell me you wouldn’t be swinging pitchforks at that village.

Terry Justice- Legal Beagle:

This one needs no explanation. He is the goodest boy in the Afterlife, a hardworking pup in charge of Justice and working hard to ensure the judgments are fair and the law is followed. Plus, he knows when to call in the expert opinion and experiences the all-too-familiar scenario of being roped with a newbie and having to train them on the job (probably without a pay raise too). 

The Vet:

Honestly, someone separates me and my fur babies, and I’d be fighting everyone in the building. Like, I love how the protagonist is smart and rescues the cat, ignores the evil lady who wouldn’t have hesitated to shank her, and calls the police. But also, was that enough karma/justice? Agree to disagree, but I do love her sense of vindictive justice.

Doofus:

Honestly, did this protagonist do anything wrong? He thinks he made a friend, hangs out with said friend, gets robbed by said friend, rightfully gets angry and punches that “friend,”… like this could happen to anyone? And also is a great reminder why being an introvert is safer in the real world. 

Robert the Doll:

I’m ranking this protagonist so high because he obviously has great taste. Like, does he make a rookie mistake and take a picture of the one thing he shouldn’t take a picture of??? Yes. But does he also have an amazing girlfriend who saves his life and then scolds the doll like this was an inconvenient incident instead of the setup for a potential series of horrific events? Yes. Plus, he apologizes immediately to the doll and promises to visit. Like, looking the monster in the eye, realizing the poor thing is just lonely, and befriending it? I love to see it!

The Raisin House:

This protagonist got to me! Like, was I yelling at her for coming back to the place she hated so much and tried escaping from? Yes. But she was trained from a young age that she was expected to carry on the family tradition of living there, and familial expectations are hard to shake, so I can give her some sympathy. Also, this whole thing gave me such Yellow Wallpaper vibes, which is one of my favorite readings from college. And she does try to survive and make the best of the situation, so I have to give her points for the effort. 

Charlie Shrubbery:

I feel like I have to put Charlie higher on the list because I already made the argument for a character having limited choices due to upbringing. Like, does this kid need serious therapy? Yes. Would it help him? Who knows, but it definitely wouldn’t hurt. He definitely made questionable choices, but all of those are justified given his upbringing and family situation. 

Sleep Onsets to White:

I feel like this is the pure neutral protagonist. Like, nothing done wrong or right or anything at all. Just dreams and waiting for death. I loved the story, but honestly the protagonist was the side dish to the beautiful entree of the imagery.

The Cost of Living:

I feel for this guy. He almost died as a kid doing kid things, and the ghost of his scooter is salty that they didn’t go down together and decides to haunt his every birthday until death?? Props to the scooter for holding a grudge for so long (an absolute icon), but the poor guy did his time. It wasn’t on purpose (why not haunt the driver of the truck that hit the scooter? Or the parents who wanted to return the parts for a new one instead of making sure their son is okay after almost dying???), so let the poor boy do his time and move on in less than 60-some years. Although, I have to wonder why he never tried a séance or psychic to talk to the scooter and apologize. Is that what the scooter was waiting for? If that’s the case, having to wait literal decades for a guy to apologize is the most realistic thing in the story haha.

Alpaca:

I mean, this poor dude is just trying to do his job. But, he did neglect his other work for the one project, and he kept working even when his mental health was obviously taking a toll on him. Maybe if he had better work/life boundaries, things would have been different? It’s honestly too relatable to judge him too much, but also he did nothing to help himself.

The Scooter Collector:

I admire a guy who has a hobby. But, again, he has no boundaries. Being so wrapped up in scooter collecting that your wife leaves you? Like, you know he spent too many nights in the garage, meals reading scooter catalogs instead of helping cook and clean up, and could tell the make and model of a scooter before clocking his wife’s emotional state. Also, for someone so passionate, did he not have a backbone? Someone sends him a note asking for a scooter then tells him when to meet to buy it? Like, did our guy agree to sell the scooter, because I’m pretty sure that was his money used at the auction. And he could’ve just said nope and not shown up at the park instead of moping about the lack of time with his precioussss (read in Gollum’s voice).

The Roommate:

This guy deserves every nerve-wracking supernatural encounter that comes to him, and no I will not accept rebuttals. He had a feeling the place was haunted, thought it’d be funny to see his sister freak out, and then suffers when the tables are turned. Five stars, chef’s kiss, no notes, I am Team Ghost Chef.

Your turn!

How does my ranking stack up against yours?