Harris Institute for Gifted Students Episode 7: Stars

Harris Institute for Gifted Students by Pineapple | Content Warnings

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Usually, Mickey was a ray of sunshine. Kind, if a little overbearing, beautiful, and hard working. But lately, she was more like a reflection of that sun on a pond, full of fish hooks.

Ever since that day she was supposed to go stargazing with Samuel, she’d been a little bit duller, a little less stable. It was maybe the first time ever that Mickey had refused an invite to get lunch together when Sofia had asked, and alarm bells sounded off in Sofia’s head.

Everything okay? Sofia texted.

Dots appeared as she typed. Disappeared. Reappeared and then disappeared again.

When Sofia tried to call, she was sent to voicemail. It wasn’t that, specifically, that got Sofia up and out of the room to track Mickey down. It was all of the things combined. All the dodgy answers, the unanswered texts, the sad, daydreamy looks she had lately. It was the fact that Vanessa had to force Mickey back to her dorm after class so she’d get some rest.

The first place Sofia checked was Coach Zhang’s training field. When Mickey wasn’t there, Sofia tried the cafeteria. It was busy at this time of day, but Mickey wasn’t mixed in with any of the crowds.

Instead, Sofia found her sitting underneath a tree on the edge of the little woods on the west side of campus. Close to the practice fields where Sofia had first looked but hidden away. Farther from the main buildings and towards Mr. Elliot’s studio. Mickey was holding her phone up to her ear with one hand, idly tying knots in her hair with the other. “Are you gonna go?” she was saying.

When she spotted Sofia, she raised a hand in greeting. The tangle undid itself, sliding free, leaving the long strands straight and perfect. She hummed into the receiver of her phone.

“Yeah, I know.” Mickey sighed. “Listen, I should go right now, okay? I’ll call you again tonight.”

Sofia heard the other voice on the phone respond. Quiet, private, and melancholy.

“Bye. I love you.” Mickey clicked end call and forced a smile that looked painful to maintain. “Hey, Sofia. What’s up?”

Sofia shrugged. “I came to see why you’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you!” Mickey shouted, jumping to her feet. She wrapped her lanky arms around Sofia’s head in a hug, petting her. “Things have just been… a lot lately.”

Being held by Mickey was always a comfort. Sofia let it happen, leaning into her. “Who were you talking to?”

“My boyfriend from back home.” She finger-combed out a tangle in Sofia’s bob and then released her, taking a half-step back. She crossed her arms behind her back. “It’s been a little while since we’ve talked. Longer than usual, I guess. I miss him.”

“I forgot you had a boyfriend.” Sofia supposed that, every so often, Mickey did mention him. Usually when a break was coming up and they could leave campus. Every once in a while, in a short anecdote if something reminded her of him. (Sofia had heard about the abandoned railroads they thought were haunted maybe four or five times in their time together.)

Mickey chuckled lightly. “Yeah,” she said. “Samuel said the same thing the other night.”

Speaking of Samuel: “What’s going on with you two?”

“Samuel? Nothing,” she said. Then she smiled coyly, like they weren’t just talking about her boyfriend. “Why, do you like him?”

The idea of it sent shivers up Sofia’s spine in the worst way. She shuddered at the thought and it made Mickey laugh out loud.

“He’s… like a little brother,” Mickey explained. “I want to protect him, but I don’t know if I can.”

“Protect him from what?”

She shrugged in response, but it was fake. Another line cast, another hook lodged into the soft muscle of Sofia’s brain. No catch to show for the effort.

“Want to go eat?” Mickey asked, putting on that plastic smile again.

She was lying, but Sofia still trusted her because it was Mickey. There was something sad in the way she talked about her boyfriend, in the way she wished to protect the genius magician who taught her constellations. So Sofia said yes, and they went to go get lunch, and Sofia made jokes until Mickey cried laughing.

---

Two months since the semester had started, and it felt like forever. Sofia could almost forget the lingering suspicions she had about everyone around her on a good day. But catching Mickey and Greyson together hit Sofia like a whirlwind. A mashup of thoughts speeding by so fast, so chaotic that she couldn’t make out anything.

Mickey must have spotted Sofia. Greyson looked over his shoulder at her, his brow creased.

Everything she hadn’t even tried to hear stopped. Their brains were still. So quiet that they sounded intentional. A recording of a silent room. Sofia couldn’t try to read their minds if she tried.

It was almost surreal when Mickey spoke out loud. “Anyway, don’t worry too much,” she said, patting Greyson on the arm. “I have faith that everything will work out.”

“Are you lying?” he asked.

She cracked a small smile. “It may not be the ending we hoped for, but any conclusion is better than nothing, right?”

Greyson sighed but didn’t argue.

“What’s going on, Sofie?” Mickey asked. “Are you doing anything right now?”

Sofia shook her head. “I was on my way back to my room. Why, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she said. “I just don’t wanna be alone right now.”

Sofia’s glance at Greyson must not have been as subtle as she thought. Mickey nudged Greyson.

“He says he’s tired,” she explained for him, pouting.

“I am,” he said, like it was a protest. “Elliot worked me really hard today.”

“Put some respect on the man’s name,” Mickey said. “He’s your instructor. At least call him mister.”

Greyson shrugged, brushing the idea off. Boy behavior, Sofia thought. He seemed much more relaxed and carefree than he had just a few minutes ago, and she didn’t believe it for a second.

“If you’re fine, I’m going to bed,” Greyson said.

“Sure.” Mickey nodded, picking at the stray ends of her hair that hung over her shoulder. “Tell Samuel to turn the lights out before he leaves.”

“That kid’s a sadist. He’ll do what he wants.” Greyson raked a hand over his face. “I have an eye mask at least.”

She huffed out a laugh. “See you tomorrow.”

Mickey and Sofia started towards their dorms. Greyson waved and left the opposite way.

“Everything okay?” Sofia asked.

Mickey shrugged. “I broke up with my boyfriend,” she said.

“What? Why?”

Sofia felt herself stall, nearly tripping over her own feet. Mickey continued walking, her hands tangled behind her back.

“It didn’t feel fair,” she explained. Maybe she was slowing down so Sofia could catch up to her, but it felt like Mickey was drifting impossibly farther. Like soon she would be unreachable if Sofia didn’t do something. “He’s going to a funeral this week and I can’t go with him. A girl we went to school with died.”

Sofia jogged to catch up with Mickey. “Were you two close?” Sofia asked, watching Mickey’s eyes watch the ground pass beneath their feet.

“No,” she said. “She was just… someone I knew. A friend of friends. We had a few classes together, growing up. A name in the yearbook that was always there.”

Sofia couldn’t relate. She had moved around a lot, never in one place for too long, never long enough to place roots. But Mickey grew up in a much smaller town with a close knit community. She was filled to the brim with affection anyone could hear when she talked about it.

She continued. “When we were in third grade, we sat next to each other. She had eczema in the backs of her knees and I thought it looked so painful. Phyllis and Maisie teased her about it for, like, two months when it flared up in the summer. I always regretted not standing up for her then. And now I’ll never be able to.”

“I’m sorry,” Sofia said, at a loss for anything else to say.

Mickey shook her head and mumbled something. It sounded like her telling Sofia not to apologize, but her voice was too muffled to understand. She took a deep breath before she looked up towards the sky. “I’m glad she died at home. I’m glad that she was surrounded by people who loved her, and that those people will be able to say goodbye. I wonder if I’ll have the same privilege.”

It felt like a gut punch. “What are you talking about?”

“A hero could die at any moment.” Nonchalant. A fact of life, drilled into all of them since their first semester. “All of us. Even if we aren’t in a battle. Something could happen and we could just… disappear.”

“Heroes have parties so that doesn’t happen.” It was a weak argument. Sofia knew it was, but she had to say it.

“Parties; friends. We wouldn’t be together all the time, would we?” Mickey’s eyes were far off. She blinked hard, coming back to herself. Shook her head as they entered the dorms. The storm that had been brewing in her head was quieting again. “Anyway, it didn’t seem fair to do that to him. He’d never know whether I was dead or not. And I wouldn’t be able to help him if he needed it.”

They stopped outside Mickey’s room. She didn’t invite Sofia in.

“Sometimes I wonder what the point of all this is if we can’t even save the people closest to us. You know?”

“We can save some people,” Sofia said. Maybe she couldn’t, but Mickey could. Vanessa had told her that she’d even been able to shoot through the sandbags lately. Usually, Mickey would have told her herself and they’d have celebrated, but she hadn’t even mentioned it.

“I should take solace in that.” Mickey put her hand on the door knob. “I’ll see you later, Sofie.”

A dismissal if there ever was one. “Call if you need anything, okay?” she said. “Even just to hang out.”

Mickey nodded.

Sofia realized that Mickey wasn’t going to go into her room until she left. So she walked slowly back to her room, hoping that whatever funk Mickey was in would go away soon.

---

Sofia was two hours deep in tutting meme videos when she got a text. She hadn’t realized how much time had passed since she’d pulled her phone out and set it down over the open book Ms. Fatima had given her. She rubbed her eyes and switched apps.

Sumire:

Is Mickey with you?

Sofia yawned and sat back in her chair, stretching.

Me:

no

did you ask vanessa

Sumire:

Vanessa said she’s at a lecture with Ben.

I haven’t seen her all day.

Sofia almost fell backwards, alarms sounding off in her head.

Me:

I literally walked her to your room earlier wym

I dropped her off

Sumire:

She’s not herself.

Let me know if you see her, please.

Me:

yeah

Sofia was already grabbing the nearest hoodie (hers or Vanessa’s? It was anyone’s guess.) and racing out the door. She had a feeling she might know where Mickey was. A hunch. Another line cast. Hopefully this one yielded a catch.

Sofia went through the training field. It was dark now, but the moon was full and the stars were out. She could see a silhouette sitting, knees to their chest, on the ground, looking up to the sky. They were just a little bit farther, at the edge, towards the wooded area where Mickey had been the day before.

“Sofia?” a voice called out. It wasn’t Mickey. It took a few more slowed steps for Sofia to place it as Samuel.

But a second body sat up, long hair trailing behind her. Sofia immediately recognized this figure as Mickey. She picked up into a run again to meet them.

“Hey,” Mickey said.

“Sumi is worried about you,” Sofia said back.

“Oh, sorry.” She didn’t sound sorry at all. “I turned my phone off. I just… wanted some space.”

“With Samuel,” Sofia clarified.

Mickey fell backwards onto the grass. “He’s showing me the stars,” she said. She pointed. “There’s Orion. And the Seven Sisters.”

Samuel tried to determine where Mickey was looking while Sofia crossed behind him to sit on Mickey’s other side. “Yes,” he said finally. “That bright star there is Rigel.”

Mickey’s hand fell back down to her stomach. “I always liked that one,” she said. “You can barely see all of the sisters here, though. They’re so much clearer back home.”

They all looked like stars to Sofia. Just bright specks of light across the dark sky. Hundreds, probably thousands of them that they could see. But pretty nonetheless.

“That’s Taurus there,” Samuel said. “Orion is a little murky, but some people conflate him with Gilgamesh.”

Mickey hummed. “Heroes and hunters.”

“So the legend goes,” Samuel agreed.

“You think they wanted to be immortalized like that?” Sofia asked. She looked down at the ground they were laying on, picked out a few blades of green. They’d get dirt and dew and bugs on them from sitting here, but Mickey didn’t seem to mind any of that.

“For some people, that’s why they become heroes,” Samuel said.

Mickey laughed, knocking him lightly with the back of her hand.

“Like, you don’t have to. You know that right?” Sofia continued. Mickey’s smile flickered, and she stilled, still touching Samuel where she’d made impact. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to. The only person you have to save is yourself.”

“Do you really think that’s true?” Mickey’s arm slid down Samuel’s until it was lying on the ground between them. She looked back up at the sky. “Or are you just saying that because you think that’s what I need to hear?”

“I think it’s true.”

Samuel’s head had dropped. He was looking straight ahead, at the buildings in the distance. “Greyson already told you that you don’t have to help,” he said.

“Are you?” she asked, her voice quiet.

Samuel frowned. “I don’t care about legends or greatness. I don’t care about being a hero,” he said. “But I care about my sister.”

“You care enough to put yourself in danger?” Mickey asked. “We don’t know what we’ll find if we go looking. It might not be what we expect.”

He nodded. “Do you?”

“I care about you. And your sister. And Greyson, and everyone I’ve met here,” Mickey said. “I’m afraid to see them hurt. I’m afraid I won’t be able to protect everyone. But I think if we don’t try to save Sahar, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

Stars have their own gravity, Sofia remembered, looking down at Mickey next to her. They have their own gravity and give off their own light.

Mickey finally looked at her.

I’ll tell you everything, Mickey thought pointedly, so Sofia would hear it, if you promise to stay out of it.

She watched for a reaction from Sofia, a sign that she heard her. Sofia wondered why she’d thought Mickey was the sun when they met. There was too much distance between them, too much mystery. She was a nighttime star, twinkling different colors in the darkness. The picture of a legend with stories going back generations.

There were no lies, no fish hooks, in the way she looked at Sofia now.

Sofia nodded.